Others vs you

<Not ready>
Fitting in is a survival-technique from the start. Being in a group kept us safe.

It's real easy to use. It's in our genes. Wanting to have the same lunchboxes at first. Then wanting to see the same televisionprograms. And when going in puberty, we are even more affected to it. Because of the insecurity on one side.

At the sametime when puberty is progressing we discover our true self more and more. Our interests and abilities. And we start to select people who fit those things. 

Because we learn through eachother and are strong together, we form a band. We like the same things, but we are getting more individual at the same time. Also due to the group. We see an hear and think. Do I agree? What's my opinion? We create our own believes and morals. But still need to be part of the group at the same time. Maybe it's not peer pressure, but it's your own pressure.

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 You consist of: What people (should) see:
 -opinions-What you say or are silent about ("I think", "In my opinion", "You shouldn't");
-What you do or don't do;
-When and how you interact.

 -preferences-The subjects you talk about;
-You saying "I like that", "I don't like that";
-What you wear;
-What you do or don't (like to) do.

 -abilities-your skills
-the way you learn
-the way you think
-what you do well

 -gender identity
(male, female, questioning, undetermined)
Highly subjective!
-How (fe)male-like you are dressed;
-How (fe)male-like you move;
-When and how you interact, more or less (fe)male-like;

 -sexual orientation
(straight, gay, bi)
-Who you date (kiss, hold hands)
-What gender persons are who you talk about that you find attractive

 -sexual behaviour
(what you do) 
(male, female, intersex, unknown)
-Depending on the reproductive organs you have.
-How you body is shaped;
-If you body works as it should.

At the same time this technique creates bad extra's.

And the biological need on the other side. We NEED to be in a group at this time in our life. Like we need food. It's a one step in the proces of creating our own path instead of staying with our parents untill we are 70.

At school we don't always have the luxury of selecting the group. The group sometimes selects us.

Stil you learn about who you are. All do. Because everyone lies in their bed contemplating there life. Or searching the internet for answers. Learning about what they stand for.Contemplating Chihuly

Sexuality and gender-identity is a big part of our personality. You need to know how it works.